Sunday, September 13, 2009

no is in my vocabulary



I'm not so sure how much longer my relationship with my man is going to last. As y'all know, I have lots of sex outside of our relationship. He knows but turns a blind eye because he really doesn't want to know. Whatever. Even if we had more sex, I'd still want some new ass/dick. Well, I knew things were going down hill but the trip to Mexico sealed the deal. Obviously, I had some hot shot going on with that twink. But the truth is that I was looking at the trip for us to reconnect. It didn't happen. Things haven't been better since we came home. I can't describe it but I would say B-A-D bad without drama. It all came to ahead the other night. He proposed to me. I was shocked because as the man I expect to be the one proposing. But it didn't feel right. I didn't feel I could make a lifetime commitment. I didn't know what to say. So I said, let me think about it. A cop out to be sure. But the next day, I gave him the ring back and said no. I felt better but things have been more questionable than ever.

7 comments:

  1. First, just wanna say, love the blog! I am from Chicago and miss it alot. So your blog makes me feel like I am back having sex in Chicago again. Man I miss the Bijou!

    As for the bf problems/issues, wish you the best with that. I just recently started a relationship and am not entirely sure it was the smartest thing to do. I love having sex and cruising the parks in SF for it. Since starting the relationship, I have not gone, and let me tell you, I am missing it BIG time! Fighting with myself because I really want to go. Guess I want to get it out of my system, just not entirely sure that I will.

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  2. If you are not sure about the relationship, then you did the right thing with giving back the ring. Getting married won't solve the problems. Those have to be worked out first before choosing to have a ceremony. Listen to your gut!

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  3. HA, but what do you mean "as the man"? Aren't you both men?

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  4. Yes, we are both men. But there can on be one "man" and that is pretty much me.

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  5. Windy City!

    You know I have opinions on this!

    I'm glad you gave the ring back as well. You are not the type of guy that should be in a committed, two person relationship.

    If you want to sleep around with more guys than you can handle, more power to you. But a real relationship involves the other person's needs as well.

    If your boyfriend is uncomfortable with your sexual exploits it may be time for him to move on and find a man who will be with just him and only him.

    Ask yourself, do you want to always fool around with strangers or be in love with one person you really care about? You CAN'T have both I'm afraid.

    Good luck to both of you!

    -Dean

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  6. You are right about not being able to have both. I have to figure out which one is the one that I want.

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  7. Windy City!

    You already know the answer to that!

    Do you want something constantly short-term or something that will last until you die?

    Simple as that, sir!

    -Dean

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