Where Bi-Boi and where I left it

The drama with him never really ends.  As I previously posted, I had to decide what I was going to do.  I finally told him that we can't see each other.  I was pretty clear that he needed to get his shit together and I was only confusing him.  He cried and told me that he loved me; that we should get married.  I eventually told him that I will see him again and that I think we can be together again, just not now.  He really didn't want to accept it but it is my choice.  We still talk a lot and text regularly but I am staying strong.  The problem is that I want to be with him.  I want to feel my cock ripping up his tight little hole.  I want to pull on his hair as I cum inside him.  I think that this break will provide some clarity and hopefully we can become fuck buds.  The problem is that I am in deep and compare all the new guys I am with to him.  This is so fucked up. 

Bi-Boi and Me continued

We have been talking and texting since.  But everything seems different.  I can hear it in his voice, I can read it in his text messages.  He keeps telling me that I am making this into a bigger deal than it is.  But I know him and know myself.  I feel it.  But I want him so I keep the line of communication open.  He is going through a lot.  His family is all over him now about things.  He essentially came out to them and that was not something he had planned.  I am trying to be supportive of him.  He needs the emotional support.  But it is challenging.  He sounds like a different person now.  He is not as easy going.  You can feel that he is troubled. The crying is hard to deal with.  The emotional swings as well.  And the sex.  Yikes, has it gone down hill.  Obviously, the anal took a back seat.  But it all was not there.  The kissing felt pressured.  The sex was quite honestly pedestrian.  When we started fucking again, I brought condoms with me.  I never do that. But I did for him.  We used them and he even said we didn't have to.  He wanted me to know that he trusted me. It was nice to hear but he didn't mean it.

Then it really started to change.  For the first time ever, we were fighting.  Bickering with each other.  It was stupid but how can you stop it.  He kept saying he wanted things to be like they used to be.  You can't stay in a box.  Things change and you need to move forward.  He struggled with it.  Bi-boi now is insisting that he loves me.  I know better.  He's confused and troubled at the moment.  Love is not born of this.  I really think that he is starting to realize that he might be gay.  He is definitely confused and I know one thing, I am not helping things.  I am a crutch but I am also a big part of the issue.  He doesn't know what he wants or needs.  Not that I know what he wants or needs; but I do know that I have been through a lot of this and quite honestly need to be more of a man and step up or step aside. My thoughts are step aside.  He needs to figure this out for himself.  He doesn't need me.  He just doesn't realize that yet.  But I do. The question is whether or not I can let him go. 

Bi-Boi and the Drama

We had been seeing each other regularly and the sex was great.  You were supposed to spend some time together this one weekend and on Friday, I get a text that he is going to be at his mother's house and he will get back to me.  No big deal.  The next day, he texts me and it starts out:

BiBoi:  You need to go get tested for STDs

That is a big statement.  I call him and it goes straight to voice-mail.  I try again, same thing.  I text him back and am freaking out.  He says he is going to the doctor now but he has some rash and I must have gave it to him.  I am totally freaked out and ask him to call me.  He responds:

BiBoi:  I haven't been with anyone but you.  Why else would I have a rash.

I am freaking out.  I don't understand what is happening.  I ask him where the rash is and it is on his back.  He tells me he will text me when we he is done with the doctor.  I am waiting for a bit and he texts me back that the doctor gave him some cortisone for the rash and said it was nothing to be concerned about that it was an allergic reaction.  Then he sends out another text.

BiBoi:  By the way, you didn't give me HIV either.

I was pissed.  First, he blames for giving him a rash that I didn't give him. Then he sends me a text about giving him HIV.  I call him and he picks up.  He didn't apologize to me just says he was being honest and looking out for himself.  Seriously, you couldn't have seen the doctor before accusing me of these things. 

We made plans to meet up.  He didn't realize that I was pissed but that really hurt.  I would never intentionally do anything to harm him.  He thought I was making too much out of it and should as he said "stop acting like a seventh grade girl."  We didn't really get anything resolved and I made it pretty clear that I wasn't doing to deal with this shit again.  Then he started getting into the real story behind it.  He mentioned to one of his friends about the rash and his friend freaked him out.  So instead of talking to me, he calls his sister and tells her everything:  about me, having bareback sex, etc.  His sister tells his parents and the next thing he knows, he is in the burbs getting every imaginable test run and lectured, yelled at by his parents.

I decide to cut him some slack.  I remember being his age and getting tested for the first time.  I convinced myself that the test was wrong so I kept going back and getting tested every month because I was sure that I wasn't negative.  It took awhile for me to believe it and I eventually moved past my issues.  Telling your parents that you are a bi or gay and that you may have a STD is pretty traumatic.

We decided to take a break but continue talking and texting each other.  This wasn't the break-up I anticipated but it hurt just the same, maybe even more.

Bi Boi and a wild ride

I thought I'd start you off with a hot sex session before getting into the drama:

Bi Boy and I plan to meet up this one afternoon.  I get to his place and we sit back on the couch and chat. Eventually we smoke a bit of pot.  No video games today kids.  We get into right away and move it into the bedroom.  We strip down to our underwear and start kissing and grinding and groping.  Eventually I pull his underwear off and as I lick my way down to his cock. He switches off and does the same to me.  Eventually, he is on top of me and moves up and feeds me his cock.  He does it slowly and gets me to inhale as much as possible before I gag on it.  Eventually, I move him forward and he is sitting on my face and I eat his tiny ass out.  It tastes so good as I give it a good tongue fucking.  While I am circling the outside of his ass, he is jacking off.  After about 10 or 15 minutes, Bi-Boy lets me know he is going to cum. He blows his load in his hand and then to my surprise, lubes up my cock and rides my cock.  It his so hot pushing his boys into his ass and he is loving it.  His ass is super tight so I feel like I am bull dozing it even though I lathered it up with my spit and he did prepped it with his jizz.  I didn't last too long about 3 minutes before I shot a huge load into him.  I just rolled over and we kissed for about 10  minutes before either of said anything.  After a bit, we smoked a bit more pot before calling it a day. 

Bi Boi and me date -- kinda

I realized that I was losing some perspective with bi boy. I am falling for him.  And that's not a good thing.  Besides the 20+ year age difference,  he is going to end up with a girl.  I'm just the distraction.   I took a step back from him: I cancelled on him, didn't take his calls and texts.  It definitely has made him more persistent.  I eventually gave in and went all in.  We started dating, as exclusively as I was willing to do and I assume that he was out shagging girls.  I haven't written as much about him or my antics in general because I was trying to be present in the relationship until he fucked me over.  I will tell you the ending, he fucked me over (in a way I didn't imagine) so I will write  about him and some others over the next few weeks.

IML thoughts

As many of you know, this upcoming weekend is IML.  For those of you who have not experienced this, it is a real eye opener.  It is men behaving badly and not apologizing or feeling bad about it.  Imagine thousands of gay men, mostly drunk, some high with nothing to do but fuck, cruise and play.  Now imagine this in a hotel and you can understand that it is way the fuck out of control.  I have received several party invites as well questions about what I am going to be doing, who I am going to be doing and when.  For those who have been reading the blog for awhile, you know that this is not my favorite event.  As much as I hate to say it, I am a bit of prude when all is said and done.  ( I  know a bunch of you just rolled your eyes and laughed).  It's true.  I prefer my sex to be one on one instead of in a group and I prefer to be the only one, not number 15 or 100 or whatever number you can come up with.  I'm just not comfortable in a group.  It makes me go soft and being soft at an orgy is not good for a top.  I also am not a fan of fucking a cum-filled hole.  I like being the one to seed my bitches.  I don't like random loads lubing an ass for me.  It's just my thing.  So, unless I get some different offers, I probably will not be at IML.  But you  never know.  I might want to report things back and while I may not be into group action or sloppy holes, I know plenty of you all get off on the scene. 

the thing aka the hulk

I started meeting up with this muscle guy awhile back.   He is not my type at all, he is in his early 40's, 5'10 and I can't guess his weight cause he is built like a semi truck, .  He reminds me body wise of the thing from the fantastic 4 or a bit of the hulk.  I hooked up with him pretty much because I was horny,  in a hurry and he was the first doable guy to confirm.. plus,  I am always into trying something new. I really liked the scene. He wanted to kiss and be more intimate but this was about being manly,  aggressive,  physical worship.  it might get old for him but I am pretty sure it goes with being a muscle daddy.  I get real physical with him.  Grabbing his chest, mauling his tits, feeling his freakish stud body.   He plays into as well, flexing for me, grunting like a beast.   The first time,  I was grinding on him when I stuck my cock in him raw and just fucked him with the intensity of two wild animals.  The other times I did him from behind standing,  doggy style,  him on top of me and missionary. Every time,  he took my load and loved it. I lost touch with him as I accidentally deleted his email but heard from him and will be connecting up soon.  He's a good fuck and I like taking out any aggression I have on him so I don't like to lose touch with these guys.