I do want it.

Friday is here and I get a text from BLS.  He asks me if I'm coming over.  I let him know that I am.  It's been on my mind all week and I know that it's now or never.  The funny part is that I am not really in a mood to bottom but I try to get in the right frame of mind.  I meet up with him and he's looking sexy as ever when I get there.  It doesn't take long before we are in the bedroom, getting naked.  We kiss for a bit before I lick down his body.  I eat out his arm pits, suck his nipples and kiss all down his sides and his belly before taking in his cock.  He has a nice thick cock.  Good size and girth.  I give him head for a bit, inhaling his pubes sucking on his balls.  I try to eat his ass out but he pulls me up. We kiss again before he goes down and gives me head.  He does it for a bit before he reaches over for the lube and lubes up his cock and fingers some in my ass.  He turns me over and tries to take me from behind.  Fuck, it hurts.  Really hurts.  BLS comments that I am tighter than I was the other day.  I suggest that I get on top.  His cock is still ripping me open but it's painful in the good way that makes you want more.  I'm on him riding him and my cock is spitting up precum like a faucet.  It' going all over the place and BLS is turned on by the fact that I am so turned on.  I get some on my fingers and reach back to finger it into his ass as he fucks me.  It turns me on even more and him as by reaching back I have to arch and his cock goes deeper and I can feel it breaking in new territory.  He tells me he's getting close to cumming and pulls out.  He jacks his cock for a few and shoots a huge load all over the place.  I then get on top of him and aggressively rub my cock into him and shoot my load all over his chest.  I lay on top of him and kiss as the sweat and cum is all over. We shower up and I leave, satisfying my urge for cock for awhile.

Some confusion on my part....

I was pretty hot and bothered over the incident with Beefy Latin Stud.  I hit him up and we chatted some more.  He knew I was concerned about the way it went down and he kept reassuring me.  From my point of view, this was not going to be happening on a regular basis but if we met up soon, we could do it again.  The risk isn't going to increase dramatically or at all between Monday and Wednesday so we made plans to meet up.  I was totally excited all week thinking about it but was even more nervous than before.  When I went there that day, I knew he was going to fuck me but never in a million years imagined it being raw.  Now, not only was I going back to bottom again so soon but it was clear, we were going to fuck bareback.  My mind was racing a million ways and I wasn't sure if I would follow through.  Wednesday came and he ended up  not being able to do it.  Thursday didn't work for me.  So, Friday comes and I'm really doubting this.  Now it seems like a lot longer since Monday.  I know it was only four days but the immediacy wasn't there.  Plus, I knew that if a weekend passes, the window opportunity was closed.  I debated this over and over in my mind while I decided if we should get together on Friday.......

Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts

After bottoming for Beefy Latin Stud, I was sort of all over the place.  In the heat of the moment, I made the decision to do it.  I reached down and lined his cock up.  I thought about it a lot in the following weeks (after beating off that night and many other nights).  At the time, I didn't think much about it.  I was acting on instinct and desire.  If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done it.  I know that it is hypocritical of me as I have topped a lot of guys that way.  So be it.  But it all comes back to two things:  first and foremost, I'm a top.  But it makes a difference when you top.  It feels better to top without a condom.  It's bad enough that lube tends to desensitize things, a condom practically suffocates my boy.  As a bottom, it was hot doing something that you is not "supposed" to be done.  But it didn't feel different as a bottom.  As far as just doing it, we have discussed our status every time we fucked, before we fucked.  It doesn't mean he couldn't lie or be mistaken but we did have this discussion every time.  Does this mean I am going to bottom more:  no.  Does it mean that I am going to repeat this when I do:  no.  Does it mean I am going to wear a condom more when I top:  no.  I'm going to leave the decision to the guy.  If he's up for it, then I'm down with it. 

Beefy Latin Stud returns

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I think they were separated at birth

I was watching American Idol and thought what a hot piece of ass this Tim Urban is.  The thing is he looked familiar and I better figure it out as he's not going to be around too much longer.  Then I realized that he looked like porn star, Brent Corrigan.  A little fresher but one can only hope that he is a hot slut like Brent.  Am I the only one that notices a resemblance?

Me going on about shit.

I know it's probably  a mistake to post about a comment or comments but every once in awhile it is appropriate. I have been asked by several of you, mostly in email about the break I took at the beginning of Lent.  I did learn a couple of things.  The first is that it is nearly impossible for me not to fuck around. Any attempts that I make only lead to me holding it in and eventually exploding back out there and making up for lost time.  The other is about the bf.  If it was as easy as just replacing him with some other guy, I would.  But seriously, most of the little sluts that I fuck would make horrible boyfriends. I am a horrible bf.  But that is the way it goes, you  love who you love and you fuck who you fuck.  And they are not always the same person. 

I did learn something.  The chances of me being a nice, sweet, respectable bf are probably zero.  The reality is that I just need lots of sex.  In spite of the obstacles (bf, not being able to host at work like I used to), I'll still find it and do it. 

This post is somewhat indulgent but shit happens.