This has been on my mind.

I didn't write this but I wish I had. It's insightful, honest, compelling. An anonymous follower (is there a better name for it?) of the blog wrote this a few weeks ago and it's been on my mind ever since. It's worth sharing and that's my thank you to him for taking the time and energy to care.

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I've come to a realization that I limit who I am to appease other people, whether it's just to get laid or maintain the relationships I have with other people and being society's bitch with that ever driving need to survive, even if it means sacrificing myself to play by its rules.

And those rules, expectations and celebrated format of societal or peer pressure makes it a necessity to don a mask or compartmentualize the different aspects of our lives.

Most people view that intimate relationships are made up of part a, part b, part c and so on - they look for commonalities in other peoples' relationships.

But it's fucking hard to move outside of that concept because the entire fucking landscape and definitions change. A relationship based on individual definitions. Well then there's no self help guide or outside help that could really be provided.

I'm losing where I wanted to go with this.

It's a harder road to play by your own rules - or more directly, to hold yourself higher than your commitment to other people.

It's often looked down upon and comes with a lot of baggage. It's not about vanity or selfishness, as compromise is something most of us are readily available to negotiate with...

"Want to share my fun and that sex gets better when you let your inhibitions down."
Or maybe just "let your inhibitions down." is the answer to all of this.

You ever stand on top of building or at the edge of a cliff - something high enough that if you were pushed, it's unlikely you would survive. Yet be so awestruck by the view from the sky unto earth and far beyond the horizon that the dangers don't matter, they don't even come into mind. There's no drive to go beyond the edge and no desire to go back or to only view this sight from the safety of your computer or media centers.

There's something about being present, being physically there. Even when you're becoming jaded with the people that don't see or feel what you do, but in truth, they don't really matter in this.

You're standing alone even in the arms of another, from stranger to lover.

To share our experiences and desires requires communication, yet we're all speaking our own individual language ... there is much lost in translation. And as people go, two are always one and one.

I've found isolation doesn't do much, looking up from the depths isn't any better than staring from the surface.

The only thing which changes is your reflection in the waters.

So a question for you...

What do you want your reflection to be?

Not a question of values or of your ties to other people.

Do you remember the last time you gave yourself an earth shattering orgasm? No fantasy, no porn, no thought of someone else nor anyone else in the room.

When was the last time you were satisfied with just yourself?