I'm not so sure how much longer my relationship with my man is going to last. As y'all know, I have lots of sex outside of our relationship. He knows but turns a blind eye because he really doesn't want to know. Whatever. Even if we had more sex, I'd still want some new ass/dick. Well, I knew things were going down hill but the trip to Mexico sealed the deal. Obviously, I had some hot shot going on with that twink. But the truth is that I was looking at the trip for us to reconnect. It didn't happen. Things haven't been better since we came home. I can't describe it but I would say B-A-D bad without drama. It all came to ahead the other night. He proposed to me. I was shocked because as the man I expect to be the one proposing. But it didn't feel right. I didn't feel I could make a lifetime commitment. I didn't know what to say. So I said, let me think about it. A cop out to be sure. But the next day, I gave him the ring back and said no. I felt better but things have been more questionable than ever.
